He's trying to do me in!

After this week I have decided two things.
1. Adrian should go into politics, because he is master of the spin.

2. I have to either join the french foreign legion or take up drinking.

Allow me to transcribe for you the two assignments that Adrian has brought home from school this week, exactly as they appear.

Assignment one:
One time I stole my sister's diperes and i got cought. I toled my mom I did it. And she spanked me. After that I never did it agen.

(Replace "one time" with "multiple times" and "stole" with "wore, urinated in, and then shoved in the back of my sister's closet")


Assignment two:
If I were a child in Heckedy Peg when the witch came in I wod stab her and take the gold.

(this little gem is complete with an ILLUSTRATION, wherein the child has a knife in the blood-red belly of the witch and is saying "this is esey")

So, yeah.
Parent/Teacher conferences are going to be awesome this year.

Do you think they'll let me bring a flask?