Tuesday, March 29, 2005

Update: 5 months!

(photo) All hail the exersaucer! Posted by Hello

Dear Adrian;

This month you have decided to assert yourself. Good for you. Now all you have to do is learn the English language to a rudimentary degree so that your assertions don't sound like this: yeaeeeeaeaeaeaeaeaeagh. Who taught you to be so loud? So very very loud? And how do you scream for two hours without breathing? Last week you were so angry when I put you in your own bed for naptime that you screamed for 2 hours, even after I took you out of your bed. I had to call your father to come home, and then vacuum while wearing earplugs so that I didn't melt into a puddle on the floor. If you could put "learn to talk" on your 'to do' list that would be super. I think we'll teach you to complain in an English accent so that when you hit the stage where nothing is agreeable at least we'll find it amusing: "Mummy, I simply cannot stand another morning of cheerios. I find them repulsive."

But it's not been all screams this month. You're actually quite charming when you're not bored or angry--your bored vocalization sounds like a very determined pig grunt. The other day I decided (on a whim, b/c I'm like that) to bunny hop across the room to where your father was holding you and you thought this was so funny I got a full belly laugh from you. And I have to tell you that laugh made me completely forgive you for all the loud screaming. Of course nothing is funny two days in a row so your father and I are trying every day to elicit a full laugh from you by being the most ridiculous human beings we can be. Today I discovered that the first verse of "The Lion Sleeps Tonight" is funny. The second verse and chorus are not.

We've decided to invest in an Exersaucer for you, which you seem to enjoy. And what's not to love? The standing, the twirling, the spinney plastic bit that goes clackita-clackita-clackita. Best of all, it makes you look like you're at the helm of a really wicked space ship. Following in your father's footsteps...well, the footsteps of his daydreams. (The man would move to a colony on Mars if they asked)

You've also taken to eating foods not produced by me: rice cereal, oatmeal, and squash. You really enjoy the squash. And we really enjoy the squash because we give it to you before bedtime and it makes you sleep for 7-8 hours. You’re still putting up a fight before sleep, and I have to ask: what gives? You’re always so happy after naptime, and a high holy terror beforehand. I promise that we're not doing anything interesting while you sleep. So GO TO SLEEP.

We love you, little man. Every day is an adventure with you.

Love you,


Anonymous said...

This one made me laugh so hard it was embarrassing. It was embarrassing because I am at work, in my little cube, surrounded by other people that were not laughing at something like I was...


Gretchen said...

I so want an exersaucer!