Thursday, October 28, 2004

Cranky, cranky....

Yes, I am.
And considering that my baby's due date isn't for another 3 days, I don't know why everyone keeps calling me to ask if he's here yet.
He's not.
If it were up to me, he would've been here two weeks ago and then y'all could read about how I'm cranky due to a lack of sleep, instead of:

DUE DATES
I'm tired of it. Sick and tired of it. And I'm about ready to pound on the next person who says anything to me about babies and due dates and how Halloween would be the perfect day for him to be born. I may be 9 months pregnant and weigh more than I ever have in my entire life, but I will still kick your ass. Repeatedly, if need be.

BIRTH PLAN
And what's up with people asking me if I plan on having a natural childbirth? The answer is not only no, but hell no: I plan on delivering this baby out of my armpit whilst playing a John Phillip Sousa tune on a one-man-band-type-apparatus.
Delivering a child is a private matter--it involves one's genitals, therefore it's private (see how that works?). I don't ask you questions about your genitals, so don't ask me questions about mine.

If you have any further questions, you can write them on a piece of paper...
and then set fire to it.

Thank you, that is all.


3 comments:

Anonymous said...

I love you. I'm sorry that everyone's bugging you about it. ::HUGS:: to you and to Aaron and to baby whenever he is born (and even in the womb there are hugs for him.)

Anonymous said...

LMAO! Okay, it might not be funny to you... but it gave me a giggle. If you're able to deliver the baby out of your armpit... send me pictures... you could be famous and on Ripley's Believe It or Not... :p You love me.

My father once told me a story of a woman who gave birth in 3 contractions. I am praying that you have that experience (as well as me ;)).

Send me an email if you want chocolate.... b/c I haven't sent your present off... and I will add that to it. :)

Love,
Kym

Wordpress Blog Design said...

I bet people asking about it all the time got really annoying :)